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Tag: LGBTQ

  • Our Story – An Oral History with London Irish LGBT Network

    Our Story – An Oral History with London Irish LGBT Network

    Over the past year or so, I got to know the gang in the London Irish LGBT Network. Initially, it was because I had one of the members on The London Ear, chatting about an event.

    I met some of the people involved at different events and chatting to them. The chair, Joseph asked me to go for a coffee. And that was that! Next you know, I’m on the committee and I’m making a podcast series for the group. It has been a slow process and I’m not finished yet but I’m really proud of what I’ve achieved with this.

    It’s not about numbers or views (although lots would be great, let’s be honest), but it’s more about collecting peoples stories and archiving them for the future.

    Everyone has a different story, no two life stories are the same and it’s important that we remember that and remember that although it’s a lot easier to live your life as an LGBTQ person now, it wasn’t always that way. Especially if you were from “Holy Catholic Ireland”.

    I’ve been speaking to people from all backgrounds, ages, areas of Ireland, finding out about their stories and their lives – in Ireland and in London. It’s also really important to remember that even though technology has advanced, many most people live lots of their lives online. How are we going to archive these stories? We have to become contemporary historians when the people who lived through these eras are still with us.

    I knew going into this that there were a number of things that I would have to ensure happened / didn’t happen. I want every interviewee to be free to share as much of their story as they want to. If they want to remain anonymous, so be it. That’s their decision.

    I am overwhelmed by the courage of the interviewees to tell their stories and I am truly humbled that they have chosen to entrust their stories with me.

    This has also been and continues to be a huge learning curve. So far, I’ve learned about Irish Gay History and about living with HIV and I’m really glad that I have a better understanding of these.

    One thing has really struck me that I naively didn’t think happened anymore. A number of younger people were interested in taking part and then backed out. They live their lives, quite openly, here in London. I genuinely thought this didn’t happen anymore. It has made me more determined to speak to as many people as possible for the podcast. We need to still show people that being LGBTQ is normal, we’re just people.

    Although the project has started, it’s not over. I’m looking for more Irish LGBT people to tell me their stories. If you want to remain anonymous, you can by all means. I would never force anyone out or reveal their identity if that is their wish. I can change how your voice sounds, if you don’t want people to hear that it’s you, that’s your decision.

    It’s so important that we do this now for history preservation and for the lives future generations of LGBTQ people, we need the stories of our struggles told and acknowledged so they don’t have to go through this in the future.

    If you’re LGBTQ and Irish, whether you or a parent were born in Ireland, please get in touch. I promise to give your story the attention and respect you deserve.

    You can find all podcasts here and you will soon be able to subscribe on iTunes. You can also listen on Mixcloud or below.

  • You Never Stop Coming Out as LGBTQ. Ever.

    You Never Stop Coming Out as LGBTQ. Ever.

    Coming Out Again and Again…

    Something happened last week. Within the space of a couple of hours, I had to explain to a work colleague who Talulah was. Then, a while later on Messenger, an old friend asked if I was in a relationship with a girl.

    I had to come out, again, twice. It occurred to me, once you come out once as LGBTQ, you never stop. You have you keep coming out for the rest of your days.

    I hear you say that I’m exaggerating. I don’t think I am exaggerating. Once you get over the initial telling people you’re LGBTQ, your family, friends, work colleagues, you start getting used to telling people. But, there’s still always that little nervousness. In my case, especially at work.

    I’m not the kind of person who goes round shouting it from the roof tops. To be honest, it’s none of anyone’s business. I’m not a fan of labelled anything. If you’re straight and don’t tell people about your significant other, you’re private. If you’re LGBTQ, you’re in the closet.

    First up, we’re in the pub after work and one guy asks if I would like another drink. I say no thanks, I’ve just texted Talulah and I’m on the way home. He enquires who Talulah is. When I say my girlfriend, he’s slightly taken aback. He goes on to mention that I don’t mention her in the office. I’m not hiding, it’s just my colleague wasn’t at last year’s Christmas party and it’s not an issue so no one felt the need to tell my colleague.

    Smalltown Girl

    Later that night, I get home to a message from an old friend. Someone I haven’t seen in years. We never fell out, just life got in the way and we drifted different directions. On a Friday night with a few drinks in, they mention how life turns out different to what we thought it would. Then there’s a casual ‘I take it you’re in a relationship with a girl, maybe I’m wrong’.

    This was something I had kinda been dreading for years, I have my life now and I’m out and proud of who I am. But there’s still previous lifetime stuff, people you were you friends with then, what would then think, would they care? Ireland was a very different place in the 1990s.  I tell her about Talulah. We’re together, seventeen years. The reaction was one ‘Did you know when we were friends that you liked girls? You should have said. I hope you are very happy. We should meet up sometime.’

    There it was. The reaction a small town girl wanted and didn’t know she’d get in the early nineties. I got it now, twenty five years later. Sometimes, you lose track of people, you lose touch. You make new friends who don’t know the previous lifetime you. They know you now. They didn’t know the struggles to get to be who you are now. 

    At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what these people think of you, it’s you that needs to be happy with you. But when the past catches with the present and the two exist happily together. That’s always a good feeling.

    You can listen to an interview I did on Talk Radio about coming out here