Simon Cowell is arguably the cleverest man in show business. From humble musical roots, working with Sinatta, Zig and Zag and of course Robson and Jerome, he has become the most powerful man in not only the music but all of the entertainment industry.
Somewhere along the way, the music mogul became Mr Saturday Night. First, as a judge on Pop Idol, then on the X Factor and Britains Got Talent.
Mr Cowell came up with the X Factor concept, with slightly enough differences from Pop Idol. But what the hell has he done?
The first audition round began tonight on what is Series 6 (I think) of the show. Instead of a closed room with the judges, this year Mr Cowell and his fellow producers have decided to adopt a ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ style audition process.
The auditionees step out onto a stage in front of a theatre full of people. I liked the lack of use of backing tracks at the auditions, you hear the true voice, as per American Idol and previous years of the show.
While we know that this format has been a success for America and Britain’s Got Talent, it blurs the lines between each programme. Is there any need for both the X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent now?
Saturday night entertainment in the British Isles has been dominated by Simon Cowell and Ant and Dec in the twenty first century.
Britain’s Got Talent allows other special skills or talent to be brought to the public eye other than singing (although a few singers still sneak in). Would dance troops Diversity or Flawless have ever been known without it?
Everyone seems to be able to get their diluted five minutes of fame. Popular culture has become so transient, Warhol’s fifteen minutes have been greatly reduced.
Looking at these shows, the overlaps and similarities are amazing. The colours used on sets, the set design itself, the theme tune, the personalities. The X Factor theme tune is also used on America’s Got Talent. As well as hosting Saturday Night Take Away, Ant and Dec also host Britain’s Got Talent.
It has gone to the stage where the name of the show doesn’t matter. Mr Cowell & Co are selling a Family Entertainment Brand.
The Family Factor must have a hero, our auditionee who lost someone, who overcomes adversity. A good soul, like Danyl Johnson on the new series of X Factor, who is a teacher. To balance the scales we also have those put in place for comic effect: The ones who are really bad but think they’re great.
But this series of The X Factor doesn’t seems to have the extra oddballs we’ve become accustomed to. Having a live audience means not being able to put the truly batty through their paces for our entertainment. The audition part of the series was always quite an enjoyable time but adding a live audience means the producers of the show now have The Fear Factor, afraid to push contestants to the limit. The would only be rediculed if they let the weakest in from of the Maddening Crowd. So instead we get a watered down version, with an occasional giggle. It’s going to take more than that to keep me watching.
So this is the second night that I’m in this glorious establishment. Yay! (Loads of sarcasm there)
Anyway the day staff are lovely I have to say, the night staff !?! What did they put in their coffee?
Actually, they probably don’t drink coffee. They were just born with some weird nocturnal regimented mentality.
I moved in last night about 1930, an hour and a half before the night staff come on. I got settled in and put on the tv, LOW volume, the lower it is the less the ‘auld dears’ will complain. I’d say if I hadn’t put the tv on, it would still be off.
At ten thirty, this ‘nice’ nurse, asked if I was watching the tv, which I clearly was. She turned it down so I could see the picture but not hear it. Ten minutes later she came in and turned it off.
This morning I had told the ‘auld dears’ and they told me to fight with gusto to keep the tv on.
Just a location update as I write this I can’t hear the tv (today’s footie is on) but the dear next to me is snoring, the dear across from me is telling tales of how an Irishman couldn’t become the King of Denmark and she has just broken into song. She’s having an important conversation with someone. Its 12:15… Yeah I’m keeping them up!
Now I sleep with a light.. Always have.. When I was awoken this morning, it was off, not a huge deal I hear you say.. It just means someone was my space..
These regimented night staff have some kind of problem I think. They woke everyone up at 545 am. Why? Breakfast was served at about 830? Weirdos weirdos even the ‘auld dears’ agree!
I got my laptop and my internet connection in today (Clearwire is good for something!) BTW I’m not recognising any of the ditties the dear across from me is singing.
I thought I could hear her flicking a lighter, she bloody was!! The aroma of cigarette smoke has just filled this 4 bed room. I just want to fecking watch tv !!!! My god! The regimented ‘One’ never even asked if I was ok when I rang the bell.. Good dog!
Back to the story. At 22:28 this evening, on the first Match of the Day night of the season she asked if she could turn off the TV – as I was watching it!!! She turned it down a bit, I couldn’t hear it.
At 22:58 she then proceeded to reach for the off button. My face dropped! She said she had to turn it off, TV wasn’t allowed after 2300. I told her I thought that it was ridiculous. She looked at me ‘are you interested in this?’ What? I replied Its the first day of the new season…
She then, seeing my look of disdain, returns with Backup. Not sure if Backup is her name, sorry Bad joke!
Backup comes in, ‘do you have earphones?’ Yes which set do you want? ‘Whichever will reach’. Backup then proceeds to look at the back of the tv to see if she can put my Seinnheisers in.. Big ears to block everything out!
The regimented one is all the time hiding behind Backup. Backup is taller, the regimented one is like a child clinging to backup’s skirt, obviously fearing my reaction.
Backup, as hard as she tries, cannot find a headphone socket.. I end up getting up and looking to see what’s there.. A scart connector.. Yay! No good! I’m going to see if the infrared headphones will work tonight.
At this point I must add I can just about hear the tv, typing on the blackberry is louder. Curtains are around all the beds so no one is interfering with anyone else, apart from the Danish royalty songs.
Mary Harney’s Idea of a HappyMeal
This is what gets me, In Ireland we don’t really have a health system. So thanks to VHI health insurance I’m in a private room. we got a statement recently for my last ‘holiday’ here. Each night spent here is 975.
For that today I got a bowl of cornflakes, 1 tea, 2 coffees, a Beef casserole I couldn’t eat, one sausage, one rasher, one piece of pudding. I got a 4 panadols and one syringe full of innohep!
Auld dear is trying to light another cigarette!
Was the extra money charged for the entertainment provided or that my surroundings were nice and comfortable so I can get better!? Not sure!