Category: Living

Ah, Life! Life in London, tips for Irish people living outside Ireland, Irish people in Great Britain, LGBTQ stuff and various rants!

You Don’t Have To Be An Activist, You Know?

International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia 2022

Seeing as today, May 17th, is International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia 2022, I thought that today was the right time to share this piece I recently wrote.

It’s something that was said to me during a recent conversation. I sat there not replying. They just didn’t get it. “You don’t have to be an activist, you know?”

During the first lockdown, I took over as Acting Chair of the London Irish LGBT Network. Believe me when I say that this was something I really didn’t want to do. But, I didn’t want the group to come to an abrupt halt either.

I’ve never been someone who is extremely out there. I live my life, get on with it and if you don’t like it, well, I don’t really need you around anyway. I know I’m very lucky. Not all queer people are afforded that luxury. I’m very lucky where I was born and where I live. But that doesn’t mean there is no homophobia or hatred.

Again, I’ve been lucky. Me and Tallulah got a bottle thrown at us years ago, one night at Whitefriars in Dublin, just at Aungier Street. Terrible throw, missed badly. In Paris, a few lads cheered at us as they were cruising in their banger adjacent to the Seine. Ooh la la!

In Ireland, I was never involved in LGBTQ community groups or work or politics, or anything. Just didn’t do it. It could be a hangover of Catholic guilt or the fact that there’s always someone who knows someone. But, when I moved to London, I really didn’t give a shit who knew anything about me.

Taking over as Chair of the LILGBT Network gave me a sense of purpose during lockdowns. Something other than the day job. Organising online meet-ups and getting really good positive feedback from people, was massive. I was doing something right as Chair.

But what does a London Irish LGBT group need to do, who do we represent? This is one question I’ve been asking since I got involved. Are we a social group, a campaigning group? I wasn’t sure and it took me a while to figure out. As a community group, we can facilitate bringing people together in a safe space, online and now that it’s a bit safer to meet up, in person also.

We’ve run nights speaking to musicians, and actors, talking about housing, and Trans rights. It occurred to me that although not everyone comes to the meet-ups all the time, it’s important that our members, friends, and allies know that we’re always there. We don’t judge them for who they are and it’s a space where they can be themselves.

All the colours of the spectrum

Hate Crimes on The Rise

Homophobic and transphobic hate crimes have been on the rise for a number of years, it’s been something that has bubbled under the surface as the right-wing media stir the pot up. I organised an online event for London Irish LGBT Network with Robbie Lawlor and Veda Lady from Poz Vibe podcast, two HIV activists, and I thought that this was one of the last great taboos. I still do. There’s no shame in having HIV and there is still a huge amount of education surrounding it to be done. But, it was then that I was told ‘You don’t have to be an activist you know?’

That’s not true. I’ve never considered myself an activist. I just do what I do and as a member of the London Irish Queer community, if I can do something to help others in my community, so be it.

That activism and that sense of community are more important today than it has been in years. Aidan Moffitt and Michael Snee, two members of the LGBTQ community were brutally murdered in Sligo not long ago. The beautiful west coast of Ireland where this shouldn’t happen. Ireland: the first country where marriage equality was voted in by a public vote.

We Can All Be Activists

I’m a firm believer that if you’re a member of a minority group, you should strive for equality or equity for all minority groups. I believe we should live in a fair society where we live and let live, and everyone has enough to eat. I don’t understand hatred. It takes a lot of energy to be angry and then to remain angry at a person or group of people. Imagine how much energy is wasted on homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic assaults and how many lives are changed for the worse.

Even over the past while, there have been a rising number of these attacks on the LGBTQ community in Ireland. It breaks my heart. At home in Ireland and at home here in London, we as a community need to stand together and use our voices. Hate crimes are not okay and it’s not okay to ignore them just because they don’t affect you. Whether online, verbal, or physical, abuse is wrong. Friends, allies, and siblings in the LGBTQ community, use your voice, call these people out, and report ALL hate crimes. This can’t continue.

The only way to make a better world is if we all act – if we’re all activists.

Thanks for reading, I’d love your feedback and comments on we all can be better activists.

May 17, 2022
What Would You Put In Your Bag? Reflections on Ukraine

What Would You Put In Your Bag? Reflections on Ukraine

I’m a walking sack of contradictions. I love a good disaster movie. An asteroid about to hit the earth? Sign me up. The aliens are landing just as the zombies have risen? Five star ratings from me. Dystopian and war novels are just my thing. Children of Men, yup, extra-large popcorn for me.

In real life, I hate confrontation and I can’t understand why people can’t just live and let live. I also hate real war and hate what’s going on in Ukraine and what Putin is doing. I just can’t comprehend the mindset of someone who thinks it’s ok to put so much pain and suffering on another.

Looking at the news over the past few days has been heartbreaking. The pictures of people leaving their homes with one bag was the topic of conversation for myself and Talulah. What would you bring? What could you not leave behind?

Thinking about it, you would need travel documents, birth certificates, proof of name and address, a few photos, medication, spare socks, that kind of thing. But it’s not really about what is in the bag. It’s about what’s left behind.

We all struggle and strive to have a nice place to live, to have appliances, gadgets and facilities that make our lives ‘easier’. More and more of these are just for fun, for passing the time, for entertainment. We try to have nice clothes, we buy stuff so we can, hopefully, make a ‘better’ future for ourselves. But these are just material things.

The pictures from Ukraine are a stark reminder that we need to cherish and savour every moment of every day. Everything we have could be taken away from us in an instant. As a society, we really should have learned this from the pandemic. Live every day like it’s your last.

Heroes of Ukraine

One of my favourite books is The Paris Architect by Charles Belfoure. An architect living in Paris during WWII tries to hide and protect Jewish people from the house searches of the Gestapo. This, and all the dystopian films I’ve watched and books I’ve read, have one common thread. There’s a person, trying to overcome adversity of the highest order. Every fiber of their being is tested. Yes, a hero.

I have the luxury of watching the Russian invasion from afar. I’m safe where I am. Not counting Northern Ireland, this is probably the nearest actual war has been to me in my lifetime. The bravery and sacrifice of the Ukrainian people has overwhelmed me on a few occasions this week. This isn’t a film, it’s real life. A life where the Ukrainian people are fighting back against their invaders, where they are willing to fight and die for the freedom of their families, friends and neighbours. It’s the most unselfish of acts.

Heartbroken families have separated, knowing it may have been their last time together. They filled their bags with what they could carry, what they would need. Women and children leaving their homes to become refugees so they can give their children a future. No doubt, there are mementos in the bags. It’s not about what’s in the bag, it’s about those who have stayed behind so everyone else can have their freedom.

March 3, 2022
Irish in Britain? Reasons You Should have a Passport Card!

Reasons You Should have an Irish Passport Card!

I’ve been living in England for over eight years now and I’m proud to have my Irish passport. Since the Brexit kicked in a year ago, it has become more and more apparent to me that if you’re Irish in Great Britain, you really should possess an Irish Passport Card. Let me go through my reasons.

Firstly, before I start into this piece, this is my experience. Nessymon.com will not be held responsible for any omissions or errors on this page. Always consult with the relevant authorities.

Settled Status

EU citizens who were living in Great Britain prior to Brexit had to apply for settled status. Under the Common Area Agreement, the status of Irish citizens living and working in Britain did not and would not change. That meant that although you could apply for settled status if you wanted to, Irish citizens did not need to apply for settled status as their rights were not affected. You can read all about the Common Travel Area on the UK government website here.

The rights of Irish and British citizens living in each other’s country were updated in the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement which came into place on December 30 2020.

People who have been successful in obtaining settled status can get a share code from the British government to prove their immigration status. Irish people who haven’t applied for settled status, don’t have share codes.

Although Irish citizens did not need to apply for settled status, we are now being asked to verify our Irishness and citizenship all the time. If this hasn’t happened to you yet, don’t worry, it will. Here are a few examples of where and when.

Irish Passport Book and Card Image from: https://www.dfa.ie/media/dfa/passport/passport-slider-blue.jpg

DVLA

The Driving and Vehicle Licensing Authority are, let’s face it, a pain to deal with. In Summer 2021, news reports said there were backlogs of up to 12 weeks with getting drivers’ licences. Why is this an issue? If you were born outside Great Britain or don’t have a GB passport, you need to prove that you are entitled to reside in GB. People who have settled status can submit their share code. Irish people need to submit their Irish passports.

Applying for Jobs

A similar situation occurs when applying for jobs. If you don’t have a British passport or a share code to prove your immigration status and your right to work in Great Britain, you will need to submit/show your Irish passport.

Getting your pension and benefits

There have also been reports that in order to claim your pension or benefits that you need a share code to prove your immigration status. Irish people will not have a share code if they didn’t apply for settled status. You will need to submit your Irish passport.

General Life Admin

There are lots of other reasons why you may need to prove that you’re Irish. Opening a bank account, renting or buying a property. They will all need proof.

Get Yourself an Irish Passport Card

Irish Passport Card – Image taken from Twitter: https://twitter.com/PassportIRL/status/1078358602316955650/photo/1

Getting a passport card is easy. You can apply online on the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs website. You must hold an Irish passport book to get a passport card. Passport cards are valid for five years, or to the expiry on your current passport and cost 35 euro plus postage.

You can use an Irish passport card to travel anywhere in the EU or into Great Britain. You can check that on the British government website here.

It’s the same size as a driving licence or bank card so it’s easy to always have the passport card in your wallet.

That’s not solving the problem of having to show I’m Irish

So what, I hear you ask? That’s not solving the problem of having to show I’m Irish! If any British government agency, employer or bank need your passport, you have to show it to them. That means sending off your passport book.

This is where your passport card becomes valuable.

Remember where I said you can travel around the EU on it? Living away from home, I for one, always feel like I need to have my proper ID and documents up to date. If you need to send your passport away, why would you limit yourself by NOT having a passport card?

If the delays at the DVLA etc continue, you could be without your passport book for potentially months. And, if you’ve sent the passport book to the DVLA that means you are either applying for or renewing your driving licence, so you won’t have that form of ID card.

Getting a passport card makes perfect sense to me.

Check out this article ‘Travelling between the UK and Ireland // What Travel Documents do I need?‘

January 12, 2022
London Irish LGBT Network: Chair’s Report

London Irish LGBT Network: Chair’s Report

As Chair of the London Irish LGBT Network, I have to give a report on the previous year’s happenings. So my report covers from October 2020 until October 2021. Our AGM for 2021 was held on October 25 and it was great to see so many people come along and want to get involved and be on the committee.

Here’s my report for 2020/2021 and spoiler alert, I was re-elected as chair.

2021 Chair’s Report

This was my first full year as Chair of the LGBT Network and I’m delighted with the progress the group has made in that time. I’m also delighted with the feedback we’ve been getting from you about our events.

We started off last year with our AGM and Q&A with Celebrity Masterchef Champion, Riyadh Khalaf. We had great attendance and got someone fantastic press coverage for the event.

After that success, we held monthly meet-ups with musicians, film directors, activists, and we’ve held nights on Housing for Older LGBTQ people and had a night celebrating our Trans Community.

It was hard work ensuring that these events were to a standard that people would enjoy, find interesting, and ensure that we could provide a safe space.

That was and still is vitally important for us. We may have been forced into online events with the pandemic, but they have been fantastic for the group. We have to admit, we now cater for people who may not have previously been able to get to in-person events due to disability or illness, work, or location. Saying that we’ve had people join us from all over the world.

Our hard work caught the eye of the Embassy of Ireland, Great Britain and we were delighted to co-host ‘Rainbow Crossings’ with them. Hosted by Dr. Daryl Leeworthy and our own Dr. Joseph Healy. It looked at ‘Gay Irish Migrants and Queer Politics in London in the 1980s’. This was a fantastic event and a recording can be seen on our YouTube channel.

Pride month was busy!

I was asked to help launch the Bród stamp by An Post, which was a great honour as Chair of the London Irish LGBT Network. I was also asked to present a piece to camera for the opening of the Out in the World exhibition in the EPIC Museum in Dublin. The exhibition was curated by our friend and long-time ally Dr Maurice Casey and in the times of Covid, EPIC held some really fantastic online events surrounding this.

In June, we also opened up to our members and asked for their stories about what makes them Proud, what Pride means to them. These stories were beautifully written and gave us a look at a cross-section of our group. It was brilliant that everyone felt open enough to be able to share their stories. This is definitely something we want to do more of in the future.

Later, I was also asked to contribute to SafeHomeIreland’s website as Chair of the Network speaking of the emigrant experience.

London Irish LGBT Network Logo

As Chair of the network, I also have a place on the Community Advisory Board for the St Patrick’s Day Festival here in London. This year, I’ve raised the point for more open LGBTQ inclusion. This is not only important for our community but also for other minorities. This was welcomed by the Greater London Authority who organize the festival and hopefully will pave the way for more inclusivity in the future.

This year we also applied for and were successful in being awarded a grant by the Emigrant Support Programme through the Embassy of Ireland. We felt it was very important to show that, as the group is going through a rebirth, we take our position seriously. As well as giving us the money to be able to upgrade our website and domain in the future and get new promotional material’s for future events, we were awarded some funds to enable us the committee to undertake some training in the areas of safeguarding and equality. We’re not social workers and can’t claim to be but as a community group, it is important for us to be able to deal with situations that may arise. Online and in person.

What’s to come in the Future

There are some ideas for what’s to come in 2022, our main priority is to keep all our members safe from Covid. So online is best for us for the time being. We are, however, looking at ways we can come together for a Winter Drinks in December to coincide with an exhibition launch for our friend and colleague Yvonne Devine. We’re also hoping to be able to mingle more and attend the V&A’s queer museum tour soon.

We have other ideas which if I’m re-elected, I hope to work with the committee on.

So to recap, people have been very positive about the direction the group is going in. We’re a community group, not a political group but we will always work and strive for equality for the LGBTQ communities. And when we do that, if we can, make life better for other minorities and communities. We also acknowledge those who came before us and their work and sacrifice for equality, we want to learn more about our own Irish LGBTQ history but make the world better for those to come.

Nessy holding the Bród stamp for Pride month

October 27, 2021